How I Got Here

A few years ago, I worked my ass off and earned The Dream Job that I had been striving to get. I had been slaving away as a department assistant for very, very little money. To say I worked hard and was dedicated would be an absolute understatement. I was the first one in the office every day. I was the last one to leave. I worked my tushy off and gave my entire being to that job. For one goal. The people I was assisting were doing the job I wanted… it’s essentially a sales position in the music industry–only they “sell” artists and their music to radio stations. They convince stations to play their songs instead of other record label’s songs. They traveled. They ate and drank well. They had expense accounts. They worked from home and made their own schedules. THAT sounded like The Perfect Job. Ever.

 

So, I worked my ass off. I tried to be just good enough to keep my position as the department coordinator, but not good enough that they wouldn’t ever want to promote me to being a regional. I wanted a regional position so badly… because it would allow me to continue working in the music business, but also allow me to move away to another city. Nashville was just getting too small for me and scoring a regional position was the perfect solution.

For a few months, there had been rumblings around the office that the label was going spawn off a second imprint. I was down-right fucking giddy. A second imprint means HIRE MORE REGIONALS! As soon as the rumblings became rumors and, ultimately, truths, I begged (BEGGED!) my boss to make me a regional. Did I mention that I begged? Cause I totally begged.

And one day after all that begging, while I was sitting in my office, my boss called me into his.

“Grace,” he said as he sat behind his desk. “I need you to do a research project for me.”

“Oh… [pause] Ok.” I have to admit, my heart sank a bit because I had heard that day was when they were going to make all their hiring decisions.

“I need you to research where you would want to live in the midwest or northeast when you become a regional for the new label.”

Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. Seriously. Enter, stage right, Speechless Grace.

I think I floated out of his office instead of actual walking. I was finally going to be able to leave Nashville (and have the company pay for it!) and still work in the music business. My plan WORKED!

But now…. Where to move??

After much deliberation, it was down to four cities. Boston, mostly because I loved that Augustana song and thought it would be awesome to live it out, plus it was riddled with history and this girl loves her some history. New York City, because since I could walk, I’ve wanted to get myself to NYC. Cleveland, because that’s where my family lives and isn’t it nice to be close to family? And finally, Chicago. Because, well, it was big like New York, but it was midwestern, like Cleveland, so it was filled with My People.

And New York was too expensive, especially on what they proposed to pay me.

And Boston was a social wasteland to me, I knew not a soul there.

And Cleveland’s downfall was it’s airport. You can’t get a direct flight to anywhere from Cleveland.

So Chicago won.

 

I was (finally!) going on an adventure.

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So… What’s New?

A whole hell of a lot, that’s what. It’s been about three or so years since I’ve actually done anything over in these parts and I’m done so much growing up since then that I hardly recognize myself.

 

  1. I moved: I’m no longer lookin’ for love in Nashville. I found love in Chicago
  2. I’m engaged: See? I found love. And it’s awesome.
  3. I got my dream job. I got laid off. I got another job. That company closed. Then got my current Dream Job. I’ve been at this one for a little over a year and it enables me to do some amazing things. I really am Livin’ The Dream.
  4. I got myself right financially. This one I didn’t talk about much back then, but I was really fucked up financially and the stress of it was affecting me and my mental health. I’m not trying to be all bragadocious about it, but  I’m pretty freakin’ proud of getting myself out of debt and on a great track to being financially stable and happy. It’s an enormous weight off my shoulders. There was no better feeling than writing that very last car payment, lemmetellya.

 

So that, in a nutshell, is what has happened.

 

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Hello? Anyone Here?

Oh! Hi!

Yeah, this feels a little weird to me too, don’t worry… it’s not just you. I found the keys to this place rattling around in the junk drawer and I thought to myself, “Grace, you should go on over there and clean out the cobwebs. You really liked that place.”

So here I am. I’m not just cleaning out the cobwebs, though. I’m getting rid of all the old furniture, slapping a fresh coat of paint on the walls and hanging up some new art. After all, I had a fresh, new wonderful start in my Real Life, so why shouldn’t Graceless In Love?

I like this place. But it holds a lot of memories that are both good and bad. I’m not particularly proud of some of the things that went on here, but I’m willing to burn some sage and smudge the shit out of this place.

And so, Graceless in Love isn’t going to look like it used to. I put all the old stuff, the old me, in storage and I’m starting over. But, as always, I’m not going to promise to be elegant or lady-like… I’m just going to be me. But me with a little bit more awareness of what I do and how my actions affect those around me.

A boss of mine once said in a meeting, “If you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying it out loud in an interview on ‘Sixty Minutes,’ then don’t write it down.” I’m living by those words.

You might be asking why, then, I even unlocked this place and opened the door. That’s a very good question, my friend. I did so because I have things to say… things that people might care about, a lot of things that people might not care about. Funny things. Introspective things. Observations and musings. And since the internet allows us to have these little, tiny corners that we can decorate all we want and fill with what we’d like, then I’m taking advantage of that.

If you don’t like this house, then please, just turn and go quietly. Nobody benefits from you being here, and really, what good does it do anyone? But if you are willing to be my friend, then come on in. Sit down. I’ll make you a drink and let’s talk. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

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